I wish my penis had an off switch
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
