i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
