Plan B is the new Plan A
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
