I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
vagina is talking i cant
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
