oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
