Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
