Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
