Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
