i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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