Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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