Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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