if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
