his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
