I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My breasts were aching with rage.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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