i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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