It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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