Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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