Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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