Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize