susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
