I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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