Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
