I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
