I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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