were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
