Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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