# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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