Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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