You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
