All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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