well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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