covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
