Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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