There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
