when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
