And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
