don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
