omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
