I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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