people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone came in the potted fern
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
