I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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