I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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