U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
