I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
