How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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