I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
