Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
