i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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