And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
