The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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